DAY 23: grappLing with guiLt

i hate myself. Yes i do! Who do i had to be sleeping when you called me last night???? Don’t you know how much i miss you… And when you finally call, i didn’t answer it… Oh my God, i hate myself…

Yesterday was a very tiring day. Not physically but mentally!! And i just got back home at 10 p.m. Usually i will stay up til 2 or 3 in the morning, but i don’t know i was just too sleepy last night, so then i fell asleep. But at 00.33 a.m i have to take a leak, when i was done peeing, i took a peek on my phone, and your name was on the call register, registered missed call at 00.05!!! DAMN

i feel guilty…. right up til now when i write this post…  i’m grappling with guilt baby!!! i hate myself, i should’ve picked up the phone last night!!! It’s such a very rare occasion for you to call me… And i had to missed that special occasion, i feel like i want to kill myself…

at 00.33 when i found out the fact that i just missed your call, i feel really guilty, so that i can not go back to sleep again. I wanna punish myself. I told myself to stay awake til the morning so that i could call you first thing in the morning when you wake up, but you didnt reply any of my messages….

so i stayed awake til 01.00 p.m still feeling guilty and missing you so much

i’ll call you right after i published this post. please answer! cause i’m missing you!

~ by erryprasetyo on June 23, 2008.